Let’s face it, the prospect of sober sex with a new partner is terrifying. It’s not that we think drunk sex is the better alternative, but a few drinks definitely help to ease the pressure.
As all-round hero Julie Walters once revealed, before she met her husband, she had never had sober sex with anyone.
But is this becoming our default safety blanket for first-time sex with someone? A new study by dating website, Temptr, found that 67% of Britons have never had sober sex for the first time with a new partner.
The main reason? You guessed it: 81% of respondents felt too nervous to consider going in without some dutch courage.
However, sober sex has a lot of perks. If you can get over the initial fear, here are six compelling reasons to go at it.
1. You’re Less Likely To Regret It
The study found that 29% regretted their sexual encounter almost immediately afterwards. There is nothing that can make a hangover worse than shame and regret barring the sound of a pneumatic drill, and you don’t want either of these emotions especially after you’ve been intimate with someone.
2. Your Sense Of Judgement Won’t Be Clouded
Sex expert Tracey Cox told The Huffington Post UK: “Your judgement isn’t clouded [when you’re sober]. No-strings sex is great when it works, but if your instincts tell you there’s something not quite right going on, you’re far easier to spot it sober than you are drunk.”
3. You’re Less Likely To Sleep With Someone You Don’t Want To
Not only did participants say they regretted it, but almost a quarter of those people (24%) said they actually would not have slept with that person at all.
It doesn’t mean you won’t make bad choices when you’re sober, but if you do so you fucked up with All The Available Information.
4. The Sex Should Be Better
While you may have The Fear that sober sex is more cringe-worthy, it actually may end up being physically better.
Tracey Cox, supports this, saying: “Alcohol does make for wilder, less inhibited sex but it also numbs the nerve endings in your clitoris. You’ll have much more chance of having an orgasm if you’re sober than drunk.”
5. You Won’t Overshare Private Details About Yourself
A study from 2014 found that both drinking alcohol and having sex release “feel-good” chemicals like oxytocin, dopamine and others into your brain.
While this sounds great, it means you build a more immediate bond and sense of trust, meaning you might reveal a more about yourself than you wanted to.
6. You’re More Likely To Get It Up (And Keep It Up)
Shakespeare was right when he wrote that alcohol “increases the desire, but it takes away the performance” – science has shown time and time again it is harder for both men and women in the performance department after a few drinks.
For men, to have and maintain an erection is harder and for women it’s more difficult to orgasm because your body produces less natural lubricant when it has been drinking.